Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in elegyforafriend's LiveJournal:

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
12:06 am	i have a new journal www.livejournal.com/users/xxwaterispoison add me please and my sn is xxwaterispoison, which i didnt give to people when ichanged so IM me (-1 Comment on this)
Thursday, March 24th, 2005
11:33 pm	( yea ) Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
8:44 pm	I think you are mistaking our changing for yourself, because the only one changing is you. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
9:52 pm	does anyone know anyone who would like to start a band with me. or needs a drummer? once again my band fails again... alex has to leave brandon wants nothing of it so i need a new band... (-4 Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
9:06 pm	Hey all... sorry for not updating with some real entries in a while.. a lot of stuff had got messed up and i just wasnt in the mood. IM a lot better now. I have been writing a lot of new music with brandon latley so whatever happens just keep your ears open. EVerything sounds a lot better than our old stuff, more mature and more of a certain style. its sort of like 50s style/melodicore/metalcore/hardcore. I think its that sound i have been wanting. Its nice because we have avoided all the cliche band things and we are just going from what our ears like. so stay tuned. other than that nothing much has been going on latley. -broke a good friendship with an old friend -work -band -found a really good new band-He is legend. I went and saw scars of tomorrow, normajean, unearth, and atreyu i would have to say that was my most energetic show i have been to Norma Jean was awesome and they played a really good set. Scars of Tomorrow was really good. Unearth had some amazing guitarists. and Atreyu was awesome for the 3rd time i saw them, i think this show was their best, they played an encore which was you give love a bad name. freaking sweet. NormaJean was the best. THRICE DVD comes out march 29th! I want to start hanging out with a lot new people that i always talk to.. Current Mood: creative Current Music: he is legend-the fool (-1 Comment on this)
Monday, March 7th, 2005
6:22 pm	Anyone up for a trip to great lakes crossing this saturday i have room for 4 people the first 4 to comment, plus if i like you, i will probably take (-8 Comment on this)
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
11:39 am	does anyone do anything original now everyones hair is the same a lot of music is sounding the same people stealing peoples originality and claiming it their own i dont like a lot of my old friends i love how they only talk to me or hang out when they need sympathy. once best friends now i hate your guts Current Music: norma jean memphis will be laid to waste (-10 Comment on this)
Friday, March 4th, 2005
3:44 pm	i said i was ok with what happened i dont want to lie anymore no its not ok it was the lowest thing someone has done to me i feel like shit over this its going to take a long time to forgive the both of you (-11 Comment on this)
Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
7:34 pm	check it out www.purevolume.com/normajean (Comment on this)
7:05 pm	Anyone up for going to see From First to Last with me on the 16th Wednesday i can hold two more people Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: chiodos (-3 Comment on this)
Saturday, February 26th, 2005
9:05 am	Today is one of those days where im expecting way to much, but i know its going to be great anyways no mattter what. I was going through some journals today Sams Dannys Cams and i think robs memebers from old boats and old fhoo. I went back to their old entries and it kinda got me really down. Especially when you had something that great and then its gone. Sure you move on but its the fact that everything was so great. I remember going to my first shows, it was from here on out and based on a true story. I think they set the stage for a lot of shit around here. I remember when the k o cs used to be packed in the summer, and it used to be really hott and everyone was sweating, but all the bands put on awesome shows. Then i remember seeing the audition and never hearing them before. A lot of local bands set what i listen to know, even though the genre is different, if it wasnt for these bands, or the people in it, i dont think i would be how i am today. Its like what im going through now. I think my band is going to get back together, why stop something when we have such a good future ahead of us. One thing and im telling this to everyone is that i do not want to stick to any genre anymore, and i know a lot of my freinds dont like the screaming, but that doesnt mean other people dont. I love listening to everything rock, and i dont want to fit into a genre, i just want to be a band that can make an impact on someone or something, wether we get big or not it doesnt matter just as long as we make some kind of impact, and the good thing is we are all still young, and with age you tend to grow up and get better at what you do. I love my band to death and quit because i was afraid that something could happen, but now i realize that everyone else cared a lot more than i thought, and i cant loose these friendships i have. I dont want to be the same screamo band or some hardcore band as someone else. That is something we have always been good at, is not following other bands in what we played, sure we had influences but we have a different art of writing music. And hopefully this break apart from me and the rest of my band can work so when we get back we can start writing songs we feel comfortable with and not what people might or might not like. There are so many things i dont like about a band, so im not going to stand back this time and let the things i dont like slip in the band. I am going to have to take more initiative to make this band better than ever. Being that i usually drive my band members everywhere, or buy them things or supply them with speakers or anything, i feel like i have a big role, and when i quit i realized that i did have a big impact. My bass player got depressed my guitarists were pissed off at me and sad at the same time and my singer felt the same as everyone else. I could care less about wanting to change our names lets make this tragic is good i like it but like i said i do not want to fall into any category, we can have our influences but i want to be original. I look up to the members of thrice because they were never bound to one catergory they are always switching stuff up and doing what they like and if people have a problem, then its their and not thrices. Once we get back on track, i want to start playing shows with how to rob a bank and get some good friendships going with them. From who i have talked to they are very awesome kids. I think we all need some friends who dont go to our schools, and if we want to make some kind of impact in the local community then i guess we are going to have to get really good, work our asses off, and start to know people. The more connections the better. I need some new friends. And also i have a tendency to say things i dont mean. This especially goes out to sarah. I know i have been a dick latley, and im sorry. I told you that this is a different relationship this time, and before i was always expecting something bad, and Im going to trust you with all my heart. I dont tell you this but I do trust you, i dont trust myself and the way i think sometimes. No matter what happens you have made a huge impact in my life ever since you were in 6 and 7th grade, you are one of the biggest blessings in my life and i never want to take that for granted. I have you now and i wouldnt want it any different way. I wont bring up the past anymore because the past haunts the present. As much as i know you, i dont know most of your friends and it makes it kind of akward, but from what friends i have talked to, you have some really good friends, and you know most of my friends. Im sorry im writing this in my journal but its the only way i can express my self without any interruptions or distractions. You are definatley a better person that what you think you are. I hate fighting with you, I hate arguing with you. I know I am truly in love. If i wasnt i would not have came back to you so many times as i had before. You're the bright light in my eyes, and i hope im the bright light in yours. I love you truly<3 I think i need to move. I absolutley have come to hate warren and the area. It has gone down hill so much. I feel like i cant walk in the school anymore without hearing shit about being white. YES ABOUT BEING WHITE! sometimes i think im to quick to judge people sometimes, but how can i not when everyone gets shit from everyone else. The chaldeans and arabs act like they own everything. I just wish they could at least respect us, and everyone else. I have and i know a lot of other people have attempting to be courteous to them, but they ruin it. They came to america to find a better place, so learn some fucking english please and just realize that you are no better than us and we are no better than you. And to my friends, I love each and everyone of you so much. You guys have impacted my life and i wouldnt have made it where i am without you. Especially my old friends. and my new friends i hope we share so many memories together. I want to appologize also to a lot of my friends who i may have talked behing their back or anything not like you know it, but i want to start over new, and im really serious about this. I want to better myself as a person. You have to meet me half way to. My drums can only relieve so much anger and everything, but i still have my thoughts and i need to get them out. Sorry if i dragged on a little. I am really anticipating this summer. I love my job and I love everyone who works there, they are my second family and i dont think i would want to work with any other people. I cant wait to hang out with my friends. go swim. I want to walk around so bad, i love walking around and doing random things (as you all know im a really random person) I know driving is cool. but walking around is so much better. as much as i hate my neighborhood, i love it. I kinda forget where things are sometimes. I remember having people over and god sorry i miss the summer time and the old days. I love growing up, but things need to go back like they used to. As for next year, im not doing band. I realized band is a joke, and sorry to anyone i may offend. Being a drummer i learn a different prospective on the program and how much people are neglected. and band nerds, i cant stand people who laugh at something thats like "oh man a decrescendo, omfg! hahaha" like they are completley stupid and should start doing better things. And im making this not friends only. I want everyone to read this. "Take another shot at what we got" OIM Current Mood: thoughtful (-4 Comment on this)
Friday, February 25th, 2005
3:17 pm	i hate this i hate when i get like this i hate jealousy a lot and i hate waiting for something bad to happen even though i doubt it ever will. i have to trust her more, i dont give her enough credit sometimes. im sorry and i love you. just stick with my bullshit until i can get over this. Snowcomming tommorow, im really excited to see her in her dress. (-5 Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
1:26 pm	Break has been absolutely fabulous so far. Saturday-hung out with kayla, amanda, dennis, and biaohua for denniss and amandas b-day. Amanda turned 16. So i drove them to dinner, and we ate, kayla spilled pop everywhere. Then we went to the store and bought them balloons and hung out at biaohuas for a bit. Sunday-worked,then hung out with kayla amanda dennis and biaohua at biaohuas for a bit. Monday-denniss bday. Went to ike vs mott volley ball game. mott won. Talked to molly amanda kayla. It was me beasely dennis biaohua and brandon. We went back to biaohuas and kayla came over. Then nate and justin came over... things gfot a little wild and wierd...hahaha. Then justin left and i drove kayla and nate home. Then went backt o biaohuas, wathced a bit of a movie, listened to music and stuff. talked a lot and went to sleep. Tuesday-woke up at 7 at biaohuas. went to work at 8 and finished up at 9. I went home and showered and got ready for the day. I went back to biaohuas, drove beasely home and took brandon home. Then i went to sarahs. Jessica scared me when she came in the room. Then i picked up brandon. We got the wonderful ladies slurpees and spent their money. Came back and just did stuff. Then left, and came back after cleaning my car. Did some more stuff. Then we were all hungry and sarah wanted to go to mcdonalds, or at least i think it was her that wanted to go, and we went and they bought me food because i was broke adnw e all shared and stuff. they drank my chocolate shake. THen we went to oakland mall and sarah got starbucks and i just looked at magazines with brandon. we went back to sarahs andw atched glimpss or requiem for a dream. and then sarahs mom got mad and we all went home. Today i work, and if someone wants to do soemthing after 9 ill hang out. Sit across from you, why are we even here? There is no way to make up for the 20 years. I love trying to make conversation when I could careless of what you're doing, what are you doing? And I know you never cared 'till now. All my days go back to when you would scream. And it froze me. Guess the screaming runs in the family. You look tired and run-down. Are you even excited to see your baby boy? Put a razor to the skin 'till we don't resemble each other anymore. Sit across from you, why are we even here? There is no way to make up for the 20 years. So now I see the tears welling up, finally you care I've waited all my life for this. It's always been over, it's always been over, it's always been over for us. A single tear, a last resort for all who've never felt. Sit across from you, why are we even here? There is no way to make up for these 20 years. If I could flip this table I'd stab you with every word that lied its way out of your head. ahhh i love ptw. Current Mood: tired Current Music: how to rob a bank-when fire turns to ice (-6 Comment on this)
Monday, February 14th, 2005
12:56 am	im leaving the band after feb 19th, i will no longer be the drummer. its been 2 years and im going to miss it and dont ask me my reasons because i probably wont tell you i love everyone of the people in my band and i would like to tell them good luck with whatever roll they might take in the music area. its all me, i am still good friends with all of them, and nothing happened to where i couldnt stand them. i started this back 2 years ago, and im ending it. sorry to any DIE HARD fans we might have had. Im sure in the future we will all be in bands. so look foward to that. Current Music: hopesfall-the broken heart of a traitor (-2 Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
4:14 pm	you ever feel that one day something/someone/it is completely awesome and then the next day it is just there, like you have it but sometimes you dont want it like staring at it and being so into it, and then you are just like, this is pathetic? On other news, i stayed home from school today, got a call from my counsler saying that cousino is too packed, but im going to keep trying anyways played some drums today i want to learn more as i lay dying and some new dillenger Current Mood: confused Current Music: murder-misery signals (-3 Comment on this)
Saturday, February 5th, 2005
11:53 pm	I never realized how much history goes back into my band. I forget where my roots are sometimes. Playing with Nate and Brandon for hours with my brand new drumset with no cymbals, trying to have a decent band. Playing horrible music and no singing. Then going up in Nates bedroom and listened to BOATS. Or the times were we pracitced at my house, and we would walk up to BP or kenneys and get pop and eat really bad food, in the summer where it was warm. And we would take pictures. Hey guys do you remember the pictures of us on the trampoline. Or the time were we collected 100 bucks out of cans for my double bass pedal that took me long to get down? Then we started to fight, and we left nate. Justin came in and we actually thought me brandon and justin were a good three peice band. then alex and this kid brandon l asked to come in, and it was me who didnt want them. Then one day we let them come and things clicked. We got rid of some old songs. Just spending days and hours and minutes and seconds at justins, being best friend with the kid. I loved that. Now i barley talk or hang out wiht justin, i dont know what went wrong, i think its because we are both busy and both went separate ways, he went to the sports side and i took work. Then after a few shows and a few arguements, a couple of big fights happened. i guess its hard to be in a band with a best friend. That killed our friendship, and i sort of regret it. Then after justin quit, we added Jacob and here were are now. I think we try to do a lot of what people tell us to do and a lot of what we like, because people have problems with screaming, but that just wouldnt be us without all the emotional energy. Now that we have stuff down we will be writing new songs while playing the old ones. I hate the feeling of "missing" something. thanks to anyone who came to the show yesterday, i have to say though, we are never playing eko again. Another thing is, I really want someone who i can do stupid silly things with and be really happy with. Everytime someone comes along, something happens or someone moves on, or the urge to be with that person just dies. I remember in 6th grade when i used to get so many girlfriends, i never knew the meaning of i love you, and i still dont but i have more knowledge of it. Its so funny hearing old stories of what i said, and i always deny it because i knew i said it. But now that im older im actually looking foward to the next girl (whoeveer it is) to be madly happy with. I dont know who it will be with, or whenn, or ever where. I still have strong feelings for going to cousino, i hate mott, i hate the people. I also love loosing touch with a favorite band, and then listening to them again and falling back in love with them. I will and always will love Thrice. So Strange I Remember You- So strange I remember you in protest of a prayer, and falling back from seas we fear to sail. I swear I saw the shooter, gold teeth and a double dare, Postmodern warnings seem inclined to fail. Feigning an apology. Those words they never left your lips. Those 5 years in Bermuda slide by like the lights of passing ships, So strange that I remember you, kneeling deep in Nietzsche's lies my throat was an open grave i drank your stained glass eyes and they taste like dead cathedrals that are crumbling beneath a weight, ten thousand jaded tourists who've traded in their hearts and hands for disposable cameras, set to document to decay, set to capture just enough of life to catalogue the things we throw away. (...breathing the fumes of our machines...) We've lost our way. (...breathing through television dreams...) If we could only see us now. If we could only see us now. The words of the dead ring in our ears, but its only a lie. The voice in your head brings you to tears, but you don't know why. The words of the dead ring in our ears, but its only a lie. The voice in your head brings you to tears, but its only a lie, yes, its only a lie, ...isn't it? Please dont me loose touch with anyone anymore. One thing i want all of my friends to do today Is just look back in the past and pick out one person or one memory you would like to relive, and if you want, you can ever comment about it. Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: so strange i remember you-thrice (-12 Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
8:54 pm	my mom said i could go to cousino next year she asked me today if i wanted to go i said maybe but i probably will what do you think? Current Music: it dies today (-15 Comment on this)
Sunday, January 16th, 2005
1:57 pm	I heard a voice through the dischord Of a deluge of passers-by. I saw one gaze frozen in time Watching me passing by. I swear I'll know your face in the crowd, And I'll hear your voice so loud When you're whispering... Hey unfaithful I will teach you To be stronger, to be stronger. Hey ungraceful I will teach you To forgive one another. Here's my kiss to betray Desperate to brush the lips of grace. Do you feel hollow when you think of how I've lied? Oh sweet angel of mercy with your grace like the morning Wrap your loving arms around me. Oh sweet angel of mercy with your grace like the morning Wrap your loving arms around me. Hey unfaithful I will teach you To be stronger, to be stronger. Hey ungraceful I will teach you To forgive one another. Hey unfaithful I will teach you To be stronger, to be stronger. Hey unloving I will love you I will love you I will love you. Jesus I'm ready to come home. (-8 Comment on this)
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
2:02 pm	New Journal Friends only Comment to be added. :) (-5 Comment on this)